Thursday, May 15, 2008

Disciplining a Special Needs Child

How do we know if a bad behavior is just a bad behavior and not something with a medical cause or a result of their disability?

We have mostly figured out what his triggers are for tantrums. The ones out of nowhere dropping to ground for lengthy periods of ime with extreme exhaustion afterwards are probably seizures or just a complete shut down from sensory overload and the subsequent inability to regain his composure. My son can't tolerate change in a civilized manner. If he likes doing something and that activity is over, he can't process (or wasn't able to when he was younger at all, better now) the idea that he can do that particular activity later. He would also tantrum when we were going to do something he couldn't do or do well. Overstimulation would set him off, as he couldn't process all that stimulation. If he wanted to do something (like press the button for the elevator and his younger brother ran in front of him and pressed it first, that would also start a meltdown(understandably)). We do EVERYTHING possible to divert or avoid these meltdowns altogether. When he does something down right mean like hit his brother for no apparent reason (obvious jealousy) then we discipline. We also do a strong behavior mod. regimine with him. If he acts out we sternly tell him that it is not ok to act like that, explain what is happening and what to expect in certain situations that may be new to him. I am not perfect, I have many parenting faults. Right now, and for the past 3 years we have been toilet training. I have tried every method, read countless books, consulted many specialists. My son does not poop in thepotty at home. I have in sheer desperation scolded him too loudly, and perhaps too often. Figuring out disciplining, not knowing what is behavioral and what is my son's frustration or disabilty or possible seizure...and how to react to it is one of the hardest struggles I have had to face to date.

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