Thursday, May 15, 2008

And then there was Two, the reaction to having a second child

I had a traumatic birthing process with my son. As part of my"recovery" my OB gave strict instructions to get back to business as soon as possible to help with healing. Armed with protection, we complied. Well, apparently the only fire sure 100% protection is abstinence. 357 days later,baby #2 was born. The first 3 months I didn't really know I was pregnant,and the next month I was in denial. The following months were characterizedin SEVERE anxiety attacks, panic attacks, and just plain old severe clinical depression. I made sure the new OB was on board with a planned C Section no later than the start of week 38. I did not want to go into labor at night,to meet up with another doctor at the hospital who would make me delivernaturally again. After that, I didn't stress about a traumatic birth, only about the C Section. And did I stress. I did not want the child at all but Iwas in a marriage, a good marriage with a white collar professional, so I couldn't give up for adoption or abort. I did not form any sort ofattachment to the child when it was in utero. Didn't have any excitement about much. As I was being rolled into the Surgical room for the C Section,I said outloud, "I don't want to do this." The OB just calmly said " well, it is a bit too late now, it is being done and you are going to be ok." My poor husband was just as freightened as I was, so he wasn't much help. LOL. Once my #2 son was cleaned up and brought back to me (I was still in the operating room) I had that instantaneously overwhelming flood of emotional Love at first sight. I hadn't had that with my first son because as soon ashe came out, the flood gates of doctors stormed the room and took over whilemy OB tended to my injuries. This time around for you, you will be more aware to your body and your pregnancy and can react accordingly. I will tell you that shortly after my#2 son was born, their pediatrician said "I know you don't realize this now,but this is the biggest blessing for your #1 son. He will be more of a motivator than all of the therapists combined. That has been VERY true. My #2 son helps "teach my #1 son how to play". The downside, , is that #2 son wants another sibling now. He wants a brother he can play with normally. But he is only 5. He loves his brother tremendously, keeps an eye out for him and has taken over the big brother role.

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